SOPHIA VAN BERKHOUT OF AMSTERDAM

AN EX-PROSTITUTE SEES THE FATE OF SINNERS IN HELL

The Year 2002

I am from a Christian family. I have two sisters and a brother. They all finished college. I was the youngest daughter. I was the most rebellious. I gave headaches to my parents. I never liked going to church with my family. My brother plays the keyboard in the church. My older sister is a deaconess, and the other sister was benefited with a beautiful voice to praise God. I was the only one who did not like to seek God. I thought of a love life. My romanticism was in search of a prince enchanted, a love to fill the loneliness that I felt.

I met a boy named Johan. I fell in love with him. After nine months of courtship, we became engaged, but soon after I discovered that he betrayed me with another woman. One day, I saw him kissing another woman. He tried to explain to me that he loves me, but that kiss I witnessed collapsed my world. I ended that engagement. He tried to resume the courtship several times. I did not want to. He was willing to follow my life. My pride did not allow me to accept a boy who fell for another woman.

Another man appeared in my life. We started dating. Three months later I discovered that he was married. He left his wife at home to be with me. When I discovered that, I was disappointed that he lied to me. I was sad that he did it with his woman who is the mother of his children. He said that he would end the marriage with her to marry me. I did not want to and we ended our relationship.

I started another date and it lasted a few months. This boy went to the prostitution house. I did not know, but I found out. I totally lost hope in love. I came to believe that I was not born to be happy. This world that I thought of Prince Charming only exists in cartoons and comics. I was sick of it all.

My parents told me to seek God that He is going to give me a husband who is God-fearing. A young man came to my father's church. He said he was a Christian. He went to my parents' house, introduced himself and said he liked me. This man owns a technology company and works with cell phones, tablets, video games, notebooks, CPUs and other electronics. He has four chain stores that sell these products. He was a financially established man and owner of real estate, apartments and a fleet of taxis.

My father tried to convince me that he was a Christian and has a future to offer me and my children that are going to be born. I did not believe in love until I decided to listen to my father's advice since he is an experienced man and knows what is best for an eighteen-year-old girl. I started dating this businessman before we made the engagement. He seduced me to go to his house. When we got there we had sex. I was confused. He as a Christian of my father's church behave just like the ungodly. Our relationship did not have a problem. We made the engagement and everything was wonderful. Before our wedding, I lived in his house. We were in love with each other. He had conquered me, and now it's been a year since we were dating. My father did not like it when he called me to live in his house before the wedding. We lived a year together without a fight.

In a year and a half, he began to be authoritarian. He was jealous of me. I could not talk to any man or visit my parents' house. He began to humiliate me for buying me dresses and expensive shoes. He started to be very possessive. I told him not to buy any more expensive gifts. That gave him a chance to dominate me. I started rejecting his gifts and got a job. I did not want to be dependent on his money. He humiliated me so much for giving me things. I worked and depended on my money. His jealousy increased. He began to attack me physically. He beat me every day. He who called himself a Christian looked like a monster when he was angry.

I packed my clothes and went back to my parents' house. My father called him a monster and denounced him to the authorities. He was not arrested for having the money to buy the authorities. My father wanted me to go to college and start a new life. I was already unhappy, despite my twenties. I did not believe in anything anymore. I made the wrong choice when I went to live together without getting married. I had no right to inherit anything. I was not legally married. My projects and dreams were finished. He stepped on me. He oppressed my life. He never talked. He only argued with me. I started to drink alcohol and use drugs. My parents did not accept this new situation. My mother took responsibility for me.

I did not take the pressure from my parents and I left home. To survive I began to prostitute myself. I charged for sex sessions. I was hired by the Red Light District where women can work legally in the Netherlands. There are all legalized nightclubs. Women wait in window displays for the men to choose. They stayed in their rooms waiting for a man to appear. I was part of these women. We charged 150 an hour or 50 for twenty minutes. I do not want to be vulgar, but I committed the worst sexual abominations to satisfy that sentimental emptiness. I kept having sex with four men at the same time and did all kinds of abominable sex and sexual fantasies. You know what I felt with all this, a joy that only lasted only fleeting moments.

My uncontrolled desires led to the erosion of what I believed to be love. I had no control over my body. I lived in pleasure. The joy of living in prostitution is artificial. The personality of a prostitute is empty. Her plans to marry serious men and have children does not exist. My sentimental health was destroyed. I felt like an object worn by all men and then discarded to another. I was so accustomed to having sexual sessions that I did not feel any love for anyone else. All were just mechanical and robotic relationships. I had lost the sensitivity of sexual pleasure; I was only thinking about money.

I was a romantic, sincere, sensitive woman. I had dreams to live a married life and have children. I was looking for true love. I was always a transparent person. I never deceived anyone. I just wanted a person to be happy and to love, but my sentimental fragility threw me into this situation and now I was scared and living a life that I never liked and I never imagined that I could be living in that moment.

I wanted to hear a word of comfort. I started thinking about God for the first time. In the center of the city, I heard a group of Christians talk about God. I started to feel like listening to them. That group knew that I was a prostitute because of my fame in that place. They passed away from me. It seemed that I was with leprosy. They evangelized the people there, but they did not want to come close to me.

Many Christians from groups that do evangelism around the city have come to me to buy sex. They were single men and also married men. Those who had prostituted themselves with me were ashamed when they saw me and with their bibles in their hands they moved away from me, going to evangelize in other places for fear that I would speak and scandalize them. I tried to approach a Christian. He was frightened and said that he could not speak to me so that other Christians would not be suspicious. They were afraid of being slandered and left. All the people who spoke about Jesus handed the invitation tracts. The people had crumpled the leaflets and thrown them in the trash. I wanted so much of a tract from them and they did not give me. I went into the trash and got that crumpled invitation that spoke of salvation.

I was born in an evangelical family listening to my parents talking about Jesus. I did not value what they said, now I was begging a word. Even my parents when they learned that I became a prostitute they abandoned me. They did not call me anymore. My family was ashamed of me and the Christians who lived in the street of my father passed by me and did not look at my face. At that moment I felt like a despicable being. I saw the prejudice of the Christians in that place, making me feel like crap. I became angry with the brethren of the church for having such attitudes of lack of love. It hindered my surrender to Jesus. They speak of love in theory but they do not love in practice. Jesus said to preach the Gospel to every creature, and that does not exclude prostitutes. Jesus approached Mary Magdalene and presented the Gospel to change the life of that prostitute while men wanted to stone that woman.

Christians today repudiate lesbians and homosexuals, do not talk about Jesus to them, as if they had no right to hear the Gospel. They look at a murderer or a drug dealer and are afraid to approach them and die. Meanwhile, souls are going to hell through the cowardice of those who call themselves Christians. God's Word says that we should not be afraid of those who can kill the flesh and cannot kill the spirit. I was treated like the garbage of society, despised by all. No one wanted to talk about Jesus to me. If I died there, I would have gone to hell. Many Christians who had the chance to evangelize and did not, God would charge my blood on their hands; they would be blamed for the loss of my soul.

One day a Christian who never saw me approached me and spoke of Jesus; he was a simple man. I said to him, "Are you a minister who preaches in the pulpit?" He said yes. Then I said, "You'd better get away from me before someone in the church sees you and tells your pastor that you've done a session with me."

He looked at me seriously and said, "I do not serve the man. I do what my God says. They can speak whatever they want and if my pastor takes me out of the work, calling me an adulterer, that God alone will solve. I cannot see a soul in this situation and not talk about Jesus."

I said, "Your neighbors who are not Christians if they see you here will never believe your words."

He replied, "Let them be scandalized about me; God alone knows my works. The Holy Spirit told me to come to you. I do not care what they are going to say. I want to tell you that you are my future wife. I will pray to God for you to free your life."

That man put his hand on top of my head. I fell down to the floor in a demonic manifestation. I could see several shadows coming out of my body. This man named Brother Daryl lifted me off the ground and said that from that day he will pray to God to prepare me to be his wife. Then he went and did not even leave his contact to call him. That attitude of his made me like him for he was the first Christian who had no prejudice against my profession and still gave me hope of a future marriage. I did not know when I would see this man of God again. What I can say is that those demons he drove out are demons of prostitution that made me do the prostitution. I no longer wanted to be a prostitute. I wanted to be a normal person.

The only problem was I had consumed a lot of drugs. That day I met that Christian who evangelized me, I do not know what was happening that night. I started to feel sick and a white froth began to come out of my mouth. I suffered an overdose of cocaine, heroin, and LSD. I fell on the floor of the kitchen fainting when I felt my soul leaving my body. My body began to fall asleep. In a matter of minutes, I was walking through the city and no one could see me. I tried to communicate but nobody heard my voice. My house was about a hundred feet away from me.

A Man in white approached me and showed me the marks of the nails in His hands. He said, "Sophia, today I make you a new creature. I cleanse you and purify your sins to walk My way." When I looked at the marks of His hands I realized that it was Jesus. That was my encounter with Jesus that changed my life. I felt unclean, unworthy, and too sinful to stand before His holy and pure presence.

GLUTTONY

From then on, Jesus led me to hell. I saw people who had gluttony. The pleasures of these people were to eat. They consumed more than they needed. They did not think about the future and they ate all the food in weeks and the scraps of food were thrown in the trash. Their habits were only to eat at that moment as if it were their last days. They thought of their stomachs and never gave food to the needy. In hell, they suffered from their eternal pangs of hunger.

COVETOUS

Hell is divided into chambers. I entered the chamber of the covetous. They coveted their goods. They did not help the poor. Their attachments to their property took them to that place. Each room in hell is gigantic and many people fit into it.

ANGER

I entered the chambers of people who died in anger. Their anger left them uncontrolled to the point of committing folly. They did not perceive the cowardice of their acts. Their violent impulses made them act as irrational animals. Their gestures were destructive.

LUSTS

I entered the chamber of people who died in their lusts. They did not respect nature. They destroyed forests to build their furniture and keep their luxuries. They spent money on drugs and prostitution. These people performed all the way to make their pleasures. They were hurricanes they made the women of consumption objects, all this to maintain their lusts; they died with diseases like cancer, overdose, and AIDS; all this led to the destruction of their lives. They became decadent and solitary and today they are in hell.

ARROGANT

I entered the chamber of the arrogant. They were proud. They were egoistic. They felt higher than the others. They despised other people. Their coexistence with others was impossible. They were in hell paying for being exalted.

ENVY

I went into the chamber of the envious. They did not like to see the success of others and the happiness of others. Their desires to have what does not belong to them and to possess what they did not have made them violent to the point of destroying lives, fulfilling what they saw in others.

GREED

I went into the chamber of the people who died in greed. They wanted the wife or the job of others. Their minds focused on stealing what did not belong to them. Their evil desires to see people leave their offices in the companies for them to take possession, everyone is in hell.

PROSTITUTION

My friend of prostitution who worked with me selling her body is called Heidi and is in hell; she died from consuming high doses of drugs. The demons tormented her and forced her to have orgies with several demons. Fire snakes entered several holes such as anus, vagina, mouth, and ears. The demons said, "And now it is satisfying your pleasure, you were a prostitute there on earth will be a prostitute here in hell. I could see all the sex shop objects in hell. This is common for prostitutes to use here on Earth. All varieties of erotic products are there. In hell, there are nightclubs like prostitutes like the earth. I saw a big house full of flashing lights as I went in there. I saw millions of women of all ages making sexual orgies with the demons. Every house of prostitution before going up to earth, are architected in hell.

Jesus said, "Any man who lies with a prostitute, becomes one with her as if it were the same flesh. All the legions of demons of the woman are passed to the man." I saw many prostitution demons who lived inside the women's bodies, celebrating by bringing these souls to hell. Every dying soul of a prostitute was a victory for them.

SEX POSITIONS

Jesus told me something that puzzled me. "The church is using these evil objects in their marriages. They use to spice up their marital relationships. The wife does to please the husband and the man does to please his wife."

The demons made women take the sexual positions in hell to have sex with them. The famous extravagant positions were invented in hell. A demon looked at me and said, "I invented these positions of sex and you did this a lot on Earth. It was my instrument. My sex mode is inside the churches. The famous sexual position of the animals that my films spread has entered the church. I turned the people into irrational animals; they continue to imitate the animals and lose the image and likeness of their God." That demon began to laugh and mock the church. He said that he invented all sexual positions in the kama sutra.

The man and the woman have to have sex lying down not standing or kneeling. Jacob also lay with Rachel, who was his favorite. And he labored for Laban another seven years. Genesis 29:30. The Bible talks about lying down to make the relationship. There is no other way of biblical sex. Man is always on top, not the woman. The Bible always states that man entered her. The idea of lead always comes from man, not the other way around.

SMOKING DEMONS

I saw a giant demon crushing many souls, stepping on them and crushing them. I also saw the dragon-demons that smoke from their mouths, like smokers. These smoking demons used these people by destroying them.

CELEBRITIES

Jesus took me in the place of celebrities where I could see three people that I was a fan. The first person was Aaliyah Haughton. When she saw me she begged me for my help. She was in the fire that consumed her skin. Who could imagine that one day this actress would humiliate herself begging for help? The second person was the actor Alexander Godunov who reached out to me to take him out of the fire. The man who was my idol was now bowing down to a poor woman like me. The third person was the actor Chris Farley who screamed a lot of pain. On Earth, none of these actors would see me. They would never get close to me. Now in hell, they are the same as trash. Despite all their money and fame on Earth, they are poor and miserable in hell.

RETURN

Jesus told me, "Servant, it is time to go up to earth." He brought me to the earth. I woke up in the kitchen of my house. I was free for the first time. Jesus forgave my sins. I saw His face. What privilege of a sinner now redeemed by His blood. I began to attend church. My parents saw the change in my life. They were happy. I related my testimony to them and I began to evangelize the souls.

A friend of mine told me, "You cannot change, are you crazy? A prostitute does not change. She will always be a commodity of sex." Men would laugh at me and say that God would never forgive my sins and that I was filthy because I spoke with Jesus. They said that Jesus would never approach an impure prostitute because He is holy. My friends turned away and the owner of the house of prostitution did not want to talk to me anymore. He said that he made a lot of profit for his company; now that I gave up he lost five percent of the income. They all turned away from me for converting to Jesus.

I thought of that man who spoke of Jesus to me and said that I would be his wife, Brother Daryl. In my thoughts, I would never see him again, until one day we met in the city. He was praying for God to prepare our marriage. For having spoken of God to me the people of his church slandered him saying that he was in sin. Daryl lost his position of evangelist and was removed from the ministry. He was no longer a member there. He had prayed for my release.

We were married in the church. My dream was fulfilled. I had never married. This blessed marriage was blessed with two girls and a boy. Today I can say that I am happy. Jesus gave me a blessed husband who completed my life. Today I work with young people. I have talked about dating without God's direction. My failed experiences have given me knowledge on the subject, to teach young women and young men to wait on the Lord. Have patience, Jesus prepares your helpmate in the right moment. If I had been hoping in God, I would not have made so many wrong choices. My directions without Jesus cost me a high price. All this suffering could have been avoided if I had waited for my current husband who now lives with me.

My husband got a job that works out very well compared to his old job. He started coming home late at night. The devil was throwing negative thoughts that he was cheating on me. My husband arrived at dawn and noticed my suspicion. He was very sad about my jealousy. I apologized to my husband. I felt concern when my children did not arrive at home when they left school. Thoughts of kidnapping and death invaded my mind. I prayed to God for the family in their hands, but worry dominated my head. When my children came home I was relieved and then realized that I did not have faith enough to trust in God.

I began to make prayer campaigns to strengthen my faith. My husband traveled to another country at the request of the company. I went through great difficulties without him to guide the family. I was alone with my children and my parents and my brothers lived afar off. They knew that I was alone and they came to my house. For years I had not seen my parents and my brothers. Those difficulties that I went through on my own were not good, but it was through them that my family met once again. They helped me until my husband came back. God knows how to act.

My brothers were almost going astray. This family gathering strengthened their faith and making them return to their lively homes. When my husband arrived from the trip, I began to feel the desire of a prostitute. I wanted to realize sinful fantasies. I fought my flesh for several days. I bowed my knee and prayed to God why those desires are rising. I saw a demon next to me who was implanting malicious thoughts inside my mind. He touched my body to arouse my desire. I expelled him and that demon disappeared. All that evil desire of my heart was gone.

You who have not yet given your life to Jesus, forget your past that brings you sadness and if by chance your past of sin was pleasurable, forget it too, give your life to Jesus. Do not remember the pleasures of Egypt. Life without Jesus is an illusion, joy is superficial, empty and of deceitful happiness.

Do not look at your past, everything has become new today in your life, old things have passed. Make a decision today in your life, let go of the path of deception that has deceived you. It is not worth pursuing this life. The way without Jesus is frustrating and disappointing. Decide today to live for Jesus, get out of indecision, acknowledge that your sin that is too serious and your situation is chaotic. You know that you urgently need God, see this in your life before it is too late.

You have been motivated to achieve what you need and you struggle to succeed. But if you have not obtained salvation and never fought for it, the demons will place barriers in your way. With their forces, you will not be able to conquer unless you deliver your ways to Jesus. He will break the barriers for you to continue walking.

The path of salvation is not easy. We find many barriers. Jesus removes the barriers and gives victory to those who keep walking. You who have not yet converted and have filled your emptiness with the things of the flesh and have replaced your frustrations, discouragement, and demotivation with the possibilities of the world, know that your spiritual supply is not in the world but only in Jesus. Do not make hasty decisions about your problem, do not rely on the advice of others and do not let yourself be carried away by your ability. Seek guidance from God and His Word. Approach Him, be reconciled and concerted for God to take control of your life. Jesus will bless you all, amen.