HEAVENLY VISITATIONS 1
I was born on the 1st of July 1935 in a remote village in South India. My father and my mother were not very spiritual people but they knew all about the Lord. And when I was in my mother's womb one day she went and knelt down at the altar of a lonely church but nobody was there. And she told the Lord, "Lord I am so young and mortally afraid of my confinement. If you listen to my prayer and give me a boy child I will name him a Samuel and give him back to You as your prophet. You can use him as your prophet." And my mother told me that she had great peace in her heart after that.
Nevertheless, when I was 20 years of age after going to the college I drifted away from God and the discipline which my mother kept me under. And I was a failure in my studies though I was a brilliant student in the high school because of my wrong associations and the liberty that I got suddenly drifted away from God and my studies. So I failed miserably and attempted twice and both the times I failed because I had nothing to write in the answer paper.
Well, and I said I'd go for a job and I couldn't get a job. And I felt so miserable and I was the only son. My father was a teacher and when I used to see him working so hard from morning 6 to 9 to 11 to earn his livelihood, l felt really miserable. At that time my mother also became very very sick and no remedy could be found. I took a look at my life and decided that these problems have no solution and that there would be no light at the end of the tunnel. Suicide seemed to be the only solution. So one day I decided to go and end my life. I want to jump before the express train that would pass near our home.
On February 11, 1955, after taking a long last loving glimpse of my beloved mother, knowing that I would see her no more, I walked towards the railway track so that the oncoming express train should take away my life and crush me beyond identification.
En-route to the track, I decided to meet my very precious uncle who is my mother's sister's husband, a Police Officer. I used to be very much attracted by his love and affection. He used to be very loving and every time he would meet me, he finally would end up the conversation about Christ. Through him, the Lord spoke in a way that would change my very outlook on life. He explained the immeasurable love and compassion of the Lord Jesus Christ, of His supreme sacrifice on the cross, and that day he spoke to me for one hour about the crucifixion of Christ. He pointed out that the Lord Jesus was the only solution there ever was and is, to any problem that a man would be having or would ever have to face in the future.
Oh, that melted my heart and I asked him three simple questions: "Can God heal my mother? Can He help me in my studies? Can He help me find a job?"
My uncle gave a "Yes" to all of these questions.
Then I sincerely asked him, "What should I do?" All he said was to kneel and cry out to the Lord Jesus. He said, "Yes. Go back home and kneel down in your room and ask God what He thinks about you so that He can show your heart to you."
I returned home, and quickly entered my room, shut the door, dropped on to my knees and cried out to the Lord. I said, "Lord, please show my heart to me."
And the Holy Spirit came and I was under the conviction of the Holy Spirit for four full hours. I never felt how the time passed by. The words my uncle gave me came before my mind. The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all sin found in First John 1:7, But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanseth us from all sin.
The Lord, in His mercy, descended and revealed to me, as in a movie, the life that I had led for the past 20 years. Tears welled up in my eyes and I began to cry uncontrollably. Then I begged the Lord for forgiveness and pleaded with Him for cleansing. I asked Jesus to take charge of my life. I cried out to the Lord, "Please Father, forgive me. Wash me with the blood of our Lord Jesus. Give me one more chance."
And a great cleansing, the feeling of holiness, sanctification came into my heart. I felt so holy inside as if I have never done anything wrong in my life and the great peace came and my whole life changed.
From that moment, my life spun around. Every night, Lord Jesus would come down and sit beside me and help me with my lessons. As I was preparing for the examination, every night the Lord will come and I can easily feel Him sitting by my side and teaching me till eleven o'clock and He will teach me. And every day we would cover 50 pages in different subjects. Today He will say, "I will take up dynamics." Another day He will say, "Come I will take algebra for you." So it was marvelous and like that, I studied and I wrote the exam and I passed.
Oh, I was so thrilled to find out that I had passed. You know an interesting thing that I would love to tell you I had a good friend called John. He used to encourage me every day and to look to the Lord to pray and believe and so on. And the next day the results were to be published. The previous night I became very panicky and I knelt down and sincerely prayed, "Lord, help me to pass," and I heard a voice. The voice said, "In which class you want to pass?" Then I said, "Lord, I'm unworthy to get a first class pass because I was not concentrating on my studies all these years. I cannot ask for a first-class pass and I don't want a third-class pass because I wouldn't get a job. Give me a high second class pass then I'll be happy." He said, "Granted."
It was marvelous a great peace came and I slept off. I wanted to go early morning to buy the newspaper everything but I totally forgot all about that and John came in the morning.
"Dhinakaran, did you see the paper?"
I said no. He then said, "You have passed in second class." I was so thrilled and when the results came I found that I have passed in high second place.
So I pressed on then I got a job in the State Bank of India the biggest bank in India after writing a competitive exam and the people who later on told me about my great result, "You did marvelously when you got on your own merit."
So I prayed constantly and wrote this exam and thank God I got it. And I strived hard that now I must come up in life. So I started studying for the departmental exams, one after the other, I passed and I got some special allowances and bonuses and honorariums for passing the exams which used to be very difficult to pass in certain special subjects and I was getting promoted in the bank.
On the other side, I started reading the Holy Scriptures. I begin each day reading several chapters from the Bible and meditating upon them. Whenever I read the miracles recorded in the Bible, I prayed that I should also be granted the divine power that was manifest in Jesus.
I was fascinated by one thing. That one thing is the way in which the Almighty God talk to his prophets and chosen vessels. Every time I would read in Genesis 5:24 Enoch walked with God; 6:9 Noah walked with God; James 2:23 Abraham was the friend of God and Exodus 33:11, the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend; Numbers 7:89 And when Moses was gone into the tabernacle of the congregation to speak with him, then he heard the voice of one speaking unto him from off the mercy seat that was upon the ark of testimony, from between the two cherubims: and He spake unto him; Numbers 12: 8 God talked to Moses as a friend would talk to another friend. The Bible says in Acts 13:22 God said David a man after my own heart.
And the way in which God walked with them, they talked with Him and the way in which they did talk to Him and got His reply. This thrilled me more than anything.
Of course, the second thing that told me was his supernatural miracle working power and I said, "Lord I must see. I must talk to You. I must witness your supernatural power so that I can bring that power to my people who are in agony and sorrow. I want them to enjoy this power. If you give me this power Lord I'd be able to help so many people especially young people who are planning to commit suicide like me in misery. So please help me."
And seven years I prayed like that. Then one day in His great mercy Lord showed me a scripture Acts 10:38 How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him.
I said, "My Lord, the Lord Jesus Christ is none other than God's Son and He is the very image of God's glory. He is God in person but still, He had to receive the mighty anointing of the Holy Ghost and power to bring the gospel to the people."
So I said, "Lord give me the Holy Spirit." And I began to pray and pray and pray. And of course, several several several saints of God laid their hands upon me and really prayed for me. And finally, that was a pastor called Pastor J Samuel [name uncertain as the video is unclear] and his dear wife in Coimbatore a city in South India. A mighty man of God he was as well as faith is concerned and this dear sister was walking with God talking with Him. Both of them took a special interest and said, "Brother, don't be discouraged. We will come and stay with you for a few days and pray." And they did pray.
On October 9, 1962, I tarried at the feet of the Lord Jesus in prayer till midnight. I pleaded persistently: "Lord! Hear my prayer and now grant me Your power! Or else, slay me! I don't want to live as a powerless and phony Christian!".
The next day dawned on the 10th October 1962 11: 55 I gave my heart to Christ after seven years. On the 10 October 1962 after an exacting work in the bank, I returned home at 9.30 in the night. I came back from the bank very tired. After supper, I prayed with my father, my mother and these two people. There arose in me the usual longing for the blessed vision of Jesus.
That night, my dad was praying and suddenly the whole room was filled with God's mighty presence and I felt something so sweet. Something like refreshing cold water coming into my soul and filling me and refreshing my body.
Just before prayer even while my dad was praying, I whispered to Pastor J Samuel, "I feel so tired. I am not able to pray. " He just laid his hands like this left hand.
When he touched me, God chose that moment to send this mighty Holy Spirit. He felt as fresh as a rose. I was thrilled with this experience and I said, "Lord, from where this refreshing feeling is coming, from where this freshness is coming?"
And God opened my spiritual eyes. And I saw the whole room lit with heavenly light coming through the roof. Then as I looked in that light I saw a marvelous person standing there looking at me. I was fascinated and He said, "I am Jesus Christ. Because you sought Me diligently, I come in person to bless you."
And then it was a rapturous joy that came and filled my soul and I began to laugh and laugh and laugh at Him. He's stood there smiling at me. The more He smiled the more I roared with laughter.
And three full hours I was happy. He began to tell me how I prayed this seven full years day, date-wise, day-wise, time-wise and place-wise and the very content of my prayer.
For example, "On such-and-such a day you are going on the cycle to buy vegetables for your mother and on the way at 10:30 am you were praying like this."
And seven years prayer the whole thing and went on to tell me that I prayed like this at this time and prayed like that at that time. He said, "Last night at 12 o'clock you said, 'Lord I prayed so much for your Holy Spirit, fill me with the Holy Spirit or you take me away. I'm tired to live as a powerless and phony Christian!'"
And the pastor and his dear wife are witnesses. God said, "I heard that and I have come down to bless you.
Then He said, "Now look into the future." And I saw how He would take me all over the world and how every time I would address a crowd thousands and thousands and thousands will come.
At that time, I was not a full-time preacher. I was only a bank officer but He showed me before thousands and thousands of people. At that time I used to only witness in several meetings especially my greatest fascination was for street preaching. I will stand in a place where four busy roads would meet. I'll stand in that corner. The whole day I'll be in prayer and I'll just stand there and my uncle will come and we'll sing a song, two songs then my uncle will give some wonderful Bible verses in the megaphone and then I'll preach say 15 minutes or 20 minutes.
The whole crowd will come to stop. The whole traffic will come to a grinding halt because the people will be so fascinated to hear that 20 minutes. All the buses will stop. All the cars will stop. All the people on their bicycles will stop. Auto rickshaws will stop and there will be a big gathering around me. Then power that mighty power of God's Word and presence will grip their souls. Then the policeman will come running, "Sir, please move to the better place."
Well, that was how I was ministering and the Lord Jesus finally, He came nearer and nearer and He said, "Son, this world has heard about My love and My compassion but it has never seen it in the life of a person. Today I am filling you with My spirit of love and compassion. Every time you move with this love, move with this compassion whatever you ask for My people shall be granted."
Oh, I was thrilled then He came nearer and nearer and something like a door opened within my heart and He came in and I could see Him settling down in a spiritual way.
We started praying at 9:30 pm and it was early morning at 1:15 a.m when this was over. When I was seeing this vision and everything was going on, the others were just a sitting there, transfixed by the mighty power of the Holy Spirit. They knew that I was talking to God or God was talking to me but they could not move from that place and my dad asked, "What happened to you?" and I could not speak.
After 1:15 a.m. I became a normal self. Then I asked him to give me a notebook. In that I wrote, "I saw Jesus." I still feel His presence so I went to bed.
From that day two marvelous changes came in my life. Number one any time I pray, anywhere I pray, immediately the presence of Christ will come and I will see Him face to face and I can pray to Him talk to Him. So sometimes my prayer time used to be extended to 6 hours 8 hours like that at one stretch with no break, no lunch, no breakfast, no nothing. It is because when you see Him, Oh you are lost, you are lost.
And the second thing is the great compassion love that moves in your heart is not sympathy and it's not human sympathy. Compassion and sympathy are different. If you read the Holy Scriptures the Bible says in Matthew 9:36 But when Jesus saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion on them, because they fainted and were scattered abroad, as sheep having no shepherd, and in Matthew 14: 14 And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and He healed their sick. Then Matthew 15:32 Then Jesus called his disciples unto him, and said, I have compassion on the multitude, because they continue with me now three days, and have nothing to eat: and I will not send them away fasting, lest they faint in the way, and in Matthew 20:34 So Jesus had compassion on them, and touched their eyes: and immediately their eyes received sight, and they followed Him.
In Mark 1:41-42 And Jesus, moved with compassion, put forth His hand, and touched him, and saith unto him, I will; be thou clean. And as soon as He had spoken, immediately leprosy departed from him, and he was cleansed.
Mark 6:34 And Jesus, when he came out, saw much people, and was moved with compassion toward them because they were as sheep not having a shepherd: and he began to teach them many things.
Luk 7:13-14 And when the Lord saw her, He had compassion on her, and said unto her, Weep not. And he came and touched the bier: and they that bare him stood still. And He said, Young man, I say unto thee, Arise.
So it's not sympathy. Sympathy stops with pity saying, "Poor man." Compassion is the burning desire to do something for the man again. So it comes and burns in your heart that's why in Second Corinthians 5:14 the great Apostle Paul says, "The love of Jesus Christ constrains me" - that is compassion. So if you read Acts chapter 20:8 to 12 when the young man fell from the third floor everybody sympathized but Paul went down, fell on him in compassion and he did not stop his cry until he said, "His life has come back. He's alive." That's compassion.
Act 20:8-12 And there were many lights in the upper chamber, where they were gathered together. And there sat in a window a certain young man named Eutychus, being fallen into a deep sleep: and as Paul was long preaching, he sunk down with sleep, and fell down from the third loft, and was taken up dead. And Paul went down, and fell on him, and embracing him said, Trouble not yourselves; for his life is in him. When he, therefore, was come up again, and had broken bread, and eaten, and talked a long while, even till break of day, so he departed. And they brought the young man alive and were not a little comforted.
Sympathy is just feeling sad for some person but unable to do anything but compassion makes you bring God's miracle. That's the difference.
The same compassion that moved Jesus Christ was the same compassion that moved me today but the quality is not the same as what He had. The reason why I say this is when the Lord Jesus Christ was in this world if you read Matthew 12:15, Mark 6:56 Matthew 14:36 everyone who touched Him were healed everyone on whom He laid His hands was healed.
Matthew 12:15 But when Jesus knew it, He withdrew Himself from thence: and great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them all.
Mark 6:56 And whithersoever He entered, into villages, or cities, or country, they laid the sick in the streets and besought Him that they might touch if it were but the border of His garment: and as many as touched Him were made whole.
Mat 14:36 And besought Him that they might only touch the hem of His garment: and as many as touched were made perfectly whole.
Like that there was no imperfection but in my ministry, I can't say that. I thank God Father what shall I say the millions who have been healed around the world, the millions who received miracles, miracles of getting a job, getting a child, getting married, getting the business blessed, getting out of debt and borrowing likewise mighty miracles. I thank God for every miracle but all are not blessed with miracles. All are not healed. There is an imperfection in my ministry. That's why I say the compassion which our Lord had and the compassion which He has bestowed on me probably are not the same in quantity and quality. He's given me some compassion but not the full compassion which He had because John 3:27 says unless it is given to a man from heaven he can receive nothing.
John 3:27 John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.
So with this, the Lord changed my whole life and mysteriously I started receiving invitations from secular clubs like Rotary Clubs and Lions Club and because I was working in the bank when these people used to come to the bank they would say, "There is a marked difference between you and other people. There is something special in yourself." After finishing their transactions, they used to say. So I used to tell them my life story and they will be fascinated and they would say, "We want the whole world to hear your story." So they would arrange meetings mostly intellectuals and high highly-placed officials and businessmen whom you cannot even approach in the normal way or they would come and sit there for hours together. Sometimes we would talk for one over one and a half hours two overs. They would say, "Go on, please go on, don't stop." So that's how my ministry started.
A man who was asking God to pass him in a second class and now talking for one and two hours among a group of intellectuals a man and one question I wonder I was when you said that you heard Christ when you met him for those three full hours I remember the thrill that Moses would have undergone when God spoke to him for the first time and he heard the God's voice the almighty God's wise now how exactly was a voice that you heard because know it's God Almighty God speaking to a man and you have heard the human voices you have heard human voices and now a supernatural God speaking to you was there any difference in the tone and the authority by which he was speaking how exactly would we describe the voice of God
Now the Almighty God is called the triune God. If you see the Godhead God the Almighty, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is called the Comforter. Now if you read Revelation 1:10 Revelation 4:2 - before he could have a revelation John the Apostle or John the Divine as they call him says, "I was in the spirit." So when the Holy Spirit comes upon you, the Holy Spirit fills you and you are no more in the natural. This is what is explained in 1st Corinthians 2:11, 1st Corinthians 2:14, only the Spirit of God can explain the things about God. So when He comes He explains within your soul. It's a question of the Holy Spirit transmitting His thoughts to you and the Bible says in Proverbs 3:3 and Proverbs 7:3 your heart is the tablet, is a tablet of your heart, in that the thoughts are reflected. So it's a question of transmitting the thoughts that is the voice of the Holy Spirit.
Now the Almighty God decides to appear before you in the form of His Son Jesus Christ. When you see Jesus, the Lord Jesus Christ is nothing but the love of God personified, God's love personified. So 1st John 4:8 says, God is love.
So when He speaks to you, He speaks to you as a mother would talk to her son or daughter. Great love. You could feel that love in His voice so tender so sweet you feel that your mother is speaking.
I give a good example. Among the popes, Pope John xxiii was a man of great love and it was he who brought the great revival in the Catholic churches and especially the Holy Spirit. So he prepared a big document, it's called Vatican document and he had to present it before the Cardinals so that they can accept it en-masse and pass it. Then only he knew he could bring in the Holy Spirit into the Catholic church. This was told to me by a person of authority and the person who moved close to him. The night before the day he had to present the document he was very restless, no sleep, nothing and it was 2 a.m. in the morning and he couldn't sleep. He was walking up and down praying and wondering what will happen. Then he heard a sweet voice, "Little John, go to sleep." Oh, he's calling him "Little John" in this regal palace. This is the pope's palace. Only my mom used to call me like that. He's wandering and the voice came the second time, "Little John, go to sleep." Then he knew it is the voice of the Lord Jesus, so tender so loving. He just fell on the bed and slept like a baby. That is the difference but at the same time when He had to speak with authority, He will speak with authority.
I always say this real episode that happened. One day I went to a church service. The service was over and the pastor looked very glum and he told me, "Brother, can you pray for my brother-in-law the very big official in the government of India but he's thinking there's no hope. His eyes have got almost too fixed and his nails became blue and the blood circulation is always coming to a halt. Medically his condition was well beyond medical help. He said, "We all lost hope but if you can come and pray for him we'll be happy." So we went and we knelt down to pray and I looked at him and it was the hopeless case I know but then I looked at his wife and two small children, great compassion came into my heart. And I said, "Lord, what will this woman do with these two little children if this man passes away?"
And great compassion came and filled my soul and the Holy Spirit began to speak through my tongue to the Lord pleading for this person that he should be raised from his bed. The Holy Spirit was speaking from within me to God taking my tongue and praying in an unknown language to Christ.
I was conscious of the processes and I had no control over my tongue. The tongue was praying to God in an unknown language which I do not know. I knew that I was not doing it. I know someone from within me was doing it.
So I went on praying and suddenly I saw the Lord Jesus appeared and He asked me, "What are you trying to do?" I replied, "Lord, please give the life of this person. I am unable to bear the agony of that lady and the sight of these two children." He smiled and disappeared. So I didn't know what to do. And the Holy Spirit immediately lifted me up into heaven spiritually but my body is there.
If you read 2nd Corinthians 12:1-4 the Bible says Paul was lifted up into the third heaven. Then he says this man but he is talking about himself in the third person. He said, "I do not know that this person was in the body or out of the body." That is how you feel when you are in heaven. You're conscious of what is happening here to your body but conscious of what is happening in heaven.
So I was lifted up into heaven and I saw the Lord walking before me and I followed Him. Oh, the streets of heaven are made of gold. You cannot imagine what kind of roads you have there. It is beyond human comprehension and I saw Him seated in His throne and He asked me, "What do you want?" Then I told Him, "Lord, send back that man's life." Then the Lord Jesus smiled and told me some very personal things about that lady and He said, "If you promise Me that you'll go and tell her this, I'll help you." I said, "Lord, I'll surely tell her." Then He said, "Go back! He lives." But this, "Go back! He lives!" is not in a tender voice. It was so powerful the whole heaven echoed and re-echoed "Go back!"
It was a command. It was just like the verdict given by the judge and it was full of authority. Otherwise, it's gentle, comforting, encouraging, sharing up and then telling you what happened; it was different. But now the same voice that said, "Peace, be still!" that authority was in that voice.
When I came back, I found myself totally wet from head to foot. All my clothes were wet and I turned looked at this man lying in the bed, numb, lifeless, getting up sitting and asking his wife, "I am hungry."
What I'm trying to say, the voice of Christ can be tender but when it is necessary His voice can become mighty and powerful.
Then comes the Almighty God. If you read the Holy Scriptures as found in Psalm 29 it speaks a little about the voice of God, how powerful it is and it's always like the roaring waves.
Psa 29:3-8 The voice of the LORD is upon the waters: the God of glory thundereth: the LORD is upon many waters. The voice of the LORD is powerful; the voice of the LORD is full of majesty.
The voice of the LORD breaketh the cedars; yea, the LORD breaketh the cedars of Lebanon. He maketh them also to skip like a calf; Lebanon and Sirion like a young unicorn. The voice of the LORD divideth the flames of fire. The voice of the LORD shaketh the wilderness; the LORD shaketh the wilderness of Kadesh.
That was the very first time I was taken to heaven. This place where this Great God dwells, if you read 1st Timothy 6: 15-16 describes Him as God the sovereign, the immortal, the King of Kings, the Lord of lords, the one who dwells in an unapproachable light or a marvelous light into which no man can enter and it also says no man can see him, no man has seen him, no man can see. These places are away from heaven and there you see here a place of tranquility and peace. It looks as if the whole place is surrounded by snow clad mountains but it's not snow, it's not snow, it is His own glory.
It looks like once I was traveling to London and by PanAm Airways and when it was going over Mount Alps, the pilot announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, now look through the window. What a marvelous sight you have." I also looked out. It was the snow-clad Mount Alps and the evening sun was shining upon it. Normally snow is white but with the sunlight, the evening sunlight, golden sunlight, Oh falling upon it, you feel it is covered by gold, plates of gold. All of us were thrilled and thrilled. Like that the glory of God fills that place and it looks like a mountain surrounding Him. I saw a big throne, white throne. You cannot describe that throne and marvelous light surrounding it, marvelous light. So in that light, you see someone seated on the throne. Nevertheless, you cannot decipher the personality of that person. You see a person sitting there majestically. Really you see a person, marvelous person sitting there surrounded by this marvelous light.
And when I stood before Him, He asked me the same question, "What do you want?" but this voice was so different. It was just like a mighty storm coming and breaking anything, breaking of anything just breaking up any material that is in the way. Sometimes storms hit our city of Madras and you see big iron girders just twisted, you see those strongest iron rods twisting. Like that the voice of God, when it comes in, it makes you shiver and make you feel you are only a speck of dust before Him. "What do you want?" Oh, that voice is totally different.
So now I explained how the triune God chooses to speak to you. The most important thing is the amount of glory, your spiritual attainment that you had, the spiritual closeness that you have with Him in this world that will determine how He's going to speak to you, whether you'll be able to withstand His full glory, or only half glory or only 0.001% of His glory.
It is determined according to your closeness with Him now or the way in which you walk with Him now, not after that, now. So He knows if you move with Him every day, then it is so easy for Him to reveal all the time, to say to you, "Come in! Come in."
If I work in my office, there are the guys here simply coming in, "Uncle, can I come in?" But a man from outside who have heard about me but does not know me personally, he hesitates and goes to the reception and ask if he can see me for one minute. And even if they come in, they're not so comfortable. Some people cry when they come and see me, they cry, "Oh my God, am I really seeing Brother Dhinakaran? I've been longing to see him for seven years."
So that's the difference. If you move with Him closely every day in prayer, with fasting and prayer but meditating on the Word of God and keeping your life clean - that's the most important thing - keeping your life very clean and working a humble walk before never getting proud, never getting proud over anything including your own faith. Many times we tend to become arrogant calling it as faith.
No, God looks at a person who trembles at His word.
Isa 57:15 For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones.
Isaiah 66:2 For all those things hath mine hand made, and all those things have been, saith the LORD: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at My word.
I would rather tremble until I die and be close to Him, a friend to Him. This is the way it works.
The first time when I traveled out of my body, I was able to see my own body. The most important thing is the grace of God. If you read 1st Corinthians 15:10, I am what I am by the grace of God. So why does grace come to you? When you want to do something more for God the desire to do something more for God the desire to know Him better when it comes as you find in Jeremiah 29:13 it says, Ye shall seek Me and ye shall find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.
So these experiences are given to us when we humble and humble and humble and say, "Lord, I am a useless fellow. Unless you give me something, I'll continue to be useless. So Lord, do something, fill me with your mighty power, fill me with your Divine Holy Spirit and the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the fruit of the Spirit. I want to be like you, Lord in this world." Then His grace comes and fills you.
One day somebody asked George Mueller the great saint of God, "What's the secret of this supernatural faith he had." The man fell to the ground and he said, "There was a day when George Muller was willing to empty himself totally before God and God filled him with His faith."
So likewise I came to the end of the road and said, "Lord, unless you fill me with your Holy Spirit, unless You appear before me I don't want to live in this world because I am 100 percent sure I can achieve nothing without You." If you read John 15:4-5, it says, Without Me you can do nothing, nothing.
John 15:4-5 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in Me. I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in Me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without Me ye can do nothing.
So this desperation was in me. I will like everyone to know no experience comes to you on your own. No special grace is given to you just like that. You have a price to pay although salvation is free, Holy Spirit is free, healing is free, blessings are free because our Master took every curse upon Himself on the cross, still, you have a price to pay if you want to be useful to others, and to get all His mighty power.
So after getting the anointing of the Holy Spirit almost every day when I come back from my office, I used to pray and the Holy Spirit will come and Jesus will come and He will talk to me for hours and hours and hours teaching Me many many many things.
I was rejoicing and I thought this is the end of it. I wanted to see Christ and I thought now every blessing will come to me automatically but it was not supposed to be so One day my dad and my church elders went to pray for a dying boy. This boy was dying and that time, all of them were praying only for the consolation and comfort in the bereavement that is going to come to that family not for God to heal that boy. So a great question came into my heart, "Lord Jesus, why am I not able to pray with authority for this man's revival? Why am I not able to pray that he should be raised up from this death bed? I have read stories of mighty miracles that have been wrought by the hands of mighty men of God like Brother TL Osborn, Oral Roberts, William Branham and so on. Lord, I had read so many things about these great men of God from the United States of America but why You have not raised up anyone in this country to do such mighty miracles? Wonders and signs will be only for Your glory? Why Lord, why You cannot raise him?"
And I heard the voice of God. He said, "You are that man. You are that man. You are that man." Again and again and again and again it was coming. So the prayer ended and I came home and I spoke to that dear brother Lemuel {not sure of spelling] about this experience. So I asked him what did the Lord mean by saying, "You are that man. I feel honestly that I don't have the faith or the power to do that but why God's says, "You are the man."?
